


Zap Goes The Reader

by NihilismPastry



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, F/M, M/M, MSPA Reader tries to make friends with story reader, Multiple routes, lots of innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:40:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22431232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NihilismPastry/pseuds/NihilismPastry
Summary: In Which MSPA Reader tries to make friends, and as per usual there are plenty of consequences.
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Reader
Kudos: 26





	Zap Goes The Reader

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Strange and Illogical Adventures of Three Idiots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15385698) by [NihilismPastry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NihilismPastry/pseuds/NihilismPastry). 



> MSPA Reader tries to make friends with 'The Strange and Illogical Adventures of Three Idiots' Reader... To everyone's detriment, maybe.

I craved friendship the same way a monkey craved a banana, or a polar bear craved the frigid lands of the arctic. Now, just to clear things up, I'm by no means a friendless loser. I had plenty of great friends, some around and some not so around, but sometimes I got that fancy feeling deep inside me that got all the shenanigans and craziness started in the first place. Rose said I was a chronic people pleaser, and you know what, she's probably right about that. 

So, with a little push from me, I zapped out of this particular part of not canon, and through the long hallway. Nothing was staring at me today, thank goodness, so it didn't feel like my skull was about to rupture this time as I drifted like a bag of potatoes through the time and space continuum. 

Then, with no grace at all, I was dropped right on my ass. I groaned and massaged my bruised butt while plucking myself off the grimy concrete. I glanced up at the sky, and to my surprise it didn't burn. 

So this was Earth? 

But, it didn't feel like Earth either. The air was pretty clean, and now that I was looking around, the strip mall I landed in had signs written in both English and Alternian. Did Terezi and Vriska really up end Alternia on its head like they were wanting? Did John and the others manage to kidnap the trolls to Earth? 

Well, only one way to find out! 

I skip into the grocery store, and found myself fascinated by the variety in food. Large fruits that had spots on them, and then your every day run of the mill apples. Looks like the trolls had brought their food with them too. 

I began wondering if I could die from eating them when I felt something hard and rigid bump my side. I whipped around, just to see a wide eyed human girl staring at me. She gave a short laugh, and a hand tangled itself into her messy hair. "Sorry about that, I was distracted by my phone. Didn't mean to bump into you." 

Wow, this was just like one of those weird dating sim things. Heroine bumps into the hero, and tries to look as innocent as possible. Not that this girl could look innocent. She really looked like an alternative sort of girl that was plump in all the ways, and seemed to have an expression that could be called... 

Horny?

No, what's a nicer word for it?

Sensual? 

Sure, we'll go with that. 

That's probably mostly to blame the way she seemed content chewing on her bottom lip. 

"Um, are you okay?" 

"Just fine. Dandy even." 

"Cool, I gotta finish up. My boyfriend's gonna kill me if I don't cook like I said I would." 

That sounded a bit concerning. "Is he um... Abusive?" 

Her wide eyed expression came back, and she finally released her teeth from her lip. "Abusive? No way! Sollux is an ass, but he wouldn't try to hurt me on purpose."

Sollux? My own pin prick eyes widened at the name. "He's your boyfriend?"

She nodded. "Yeah, do you know him?" 

"Lanky guy that's kinda rude, wears glasses all the time, and speaks funny?" 

"It's a lisp," She corrected. "But yeah, that's him. Funny, I don't think he's mentioned you before." 

A pang settles in my chest at that, but I keep pressing forward. Seeing my old friend again would be nice, plus I could be friends with this human too. "He's got a lot of cool friends, and you too! So, I guess he wouldn't really mention me." 

"You're selling yourself short. Come on, why don't you help me finish shopping and you can eat some of the curry I'm making."

Curry, that sounded delicious! And so, like the friendship and food starved person I am, I follow the strange human into the wilds of the grocery store. She didn't talk much, and seemed content to hum to herself and check her phone every so often. While this was a good bonding moment, I wanted to help deepen our friendship. Didn't this girl have any sort of hobbies? Well, if she was dating Sollux then she probably liked video games and computers. Probably a good place to go ahead and start with that! 

"So, what games do you like to play?"

"Games?" 

"You know, video games." 

She hummed while grabbing a bottle of ketchup in her reach. "Well, I like mobile puzzle games and dating sims."

"Really?" That didn't seem to qualify for a hardcore game. "Only those?" 

She shrugged. "I mean, I like what I like."

"What else do you like?"

"You're asking a lot of questions." 

"Is that bad." 

She pursed her lips and paused. "I... don't think so? None of Sollux's friends, outside Karkat I guess, bother to really talk to me or interact with me. It's a little weird to see anyone interested in me outside of 'that human the wokaholic is in a quadrant with'."

Oh, well that's interesting. My friends were all socially awkward in their own ways, some worse than others, but I didn't think they'd ignore her entirely. On one hand I could try to comfort her, but on the other they might have a good reason for it.

I weigh my options for a moment before going with the later. 

"I guess that's because you don't exactly seem like the type he'd date." 

Her eyebrows furrow. "Excuse me?" 

"I'm not trying to be rude, but you don't seem like the sort of girl that he'd date at all." 

She held a hand up, and her tone became ice cold. "I get that I'm not exceedingly cute like Aradia and Feferi are, who I'm not jealous of so don't even start on that, but you seriously don't have to poke at me like that."

"Well, I didn't mean your look honestly, just the... rest of you." 

Her face twisted like she had just bit into a lemon. "Excuse me?"

"You like kinda not cool games, and you sound like you bend over backwards to be pleasing and accommodating. I guess I always thought Sollux would like the sort of person who had some fire in them." 

"We just met. You don't know anything about my personality. You're basing what you think of me on the short time we've spent together, and what you know about a completely different person. That doesn't tell you jack shit about me, what I'm about, and it sure as hell doesn't tell you about the reason why I stick in a quadrant with Sollux."

She turned on her heel and dropped the basket full of food. That was a bit harsh, but I guess she did have a point. I didn't know anything about her. She was just some girl I met a half hour ago. 

I grab the basket and hurry outside. I find the girl scrubbing at her face with one hand, and balancing her phone to her ear with the other. "Sollux, I don't even know what you're going on about I'm fine. Honest! No, I don't need you to come over. You shouldn't do that, you'll get shot out of air space. I-... Ah! You never listen!" 

She shoved the phone in her pocket, and when she turned around, she looked utterly pissed. "What do you want?" 

"I wanted to apologize and bring you the food. You were right, I shouldn't have assumed-" 

"Please leave me alone. I'm tired." 

I took a step forward and she took a step back. Suddenly she was falling backwards and off the curb. There's a honk, a high pitched scream, and then a splattering noise. I drop my basket and hurry over to the girl, kneeling down next to her hair matted with bright red that vaguely reminded me of Karkat for a moment. 

Before I could do anything to help her, there's a deep snarl, and I'm launched away from her body and into a nearby truck. I got a glimpse of Sollux's face as red clouds my vision. He appeared older. Face cold and mature. Guess he made it past six. 

Oh, that's funny. I couldn't feel my legs anymore, and my head was beginning to feel light. I was pretty sure watching Sollux cradle the human to his chest was the last thing I would ever see. 

**BAD END**

**Author's Note:**

> Got this idea in the shower. I should stop getting ideas from my showerhead. He's a bad idea seller. 
> 
> Know what is a good idea seller? My Twitter! https://twitter.com/NilPastry


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